New Years Resolutions

It's a new year and time for new resolutions. That means it is time to make some resolutions that I may or may not stick to. I'll admit, my record on previous resolutions has been, at best, spotty. But, I am willing to give it another go. Last years resolution of pouncing on even more people from unexpected perches was a stunning success. The shelves way high up on the walls were a perfect launching spot as was the top of the white metal pattern stand...Have you ever noticed that primates never look up?  Anyway,  I evoked some awe-inspiring screams, several very colorful curse words, and even a bit of blood-letting... sorry, Melinda. Nothing personal. I've got it all recorded on my iPod nano for when I need a good chortle, or for a possible U-Tube submission.

The problem is that this year we moved to a new location, and my previous resolution of bringing home record numbers of dead birds and mice and dropping them onto my human's vegetarian pizza now has to be scrapped. This site doesn't have a pizza parlor that attracts mice to the dumpster. Nor, can I count on any decent birds sauntering by. The only birds I hear these days are those ghastly Grackles. Yeck. Those things have beady little eyes, big ugly tails, and all the lilting sounds of sharpened claws on a chalkboard.  They even look diseased. And have you seen the mess they make on the pavement below the trees? Ewww. Give me a tasty little titmouse anyday.

I thought about trying to compete for a Guiness record of puking up furrballs. But, I refuse to advocate that binge and purge behavior among young female kittens. I have to remember that I am a role model for thousands of aspiring feline models everywhere. Besides, I think some Irish pub guy already has the record.

I am already in shape, so I don't have to resolve to lose weight. And, I've already perfected my wide-eyed "who me? I'm just a little innocent kitty" face, learned from the master, Antonio Puss in Boots. Meeeeeeowwwwww!

I couldn't have possibly have knocked over your soda. Really, ask the baby.  I was framed.

I decided my resolution needs to be to add a bit of romance to my life this year.  Sure, I've had some brief interludes with that strapping hunk who hangs out behind the store...I'll call him "Tom". But, that was just a physical thing. I could never love someone who was utterly un-worldly.  He didn't even know you can drink Pepsi right out of glass with ice cubes. And his table manners....phew. Nuff said.

So, I am going to register at one of those dating sites, like eFurrmony, FeelinFriskies.com, Purrfect Match or InHeat.com. SwingingSingles.net sounds positively simian, but CougarWomen.net, with their special scratch and sniff section sounds intriguing. I haven't decided yet. But, I am willing to take suggestions. I still have to fill out my questionnaire and write a brief bio on myself.

Stay tuned.