And I was told.........

Well, I see that finally my human has decided to let me express myself again.  As I have told her, it's been quite awhile and all the drama and trauma that I have been through and no one to tell it to!

So many new humans big and little have been staying at my house.  The little human I found to be quite charming at times and quite annoying at others.  She was great for treats though so of course I found myself getting quite attached to her


Someone had to keep her nose clean!!!

and I take all my jobs seriously...see below

 

Then I find out, this special relationship I thought was just between us, well the BiG Dog just had to get in on the action.  I swear can't I have anything to myself!

 

So as you can see, we are a rather affectionate family!

 

 

Let's see since the last time I got to say a few words, there have been MAJOR changes in my house.  I was told the company that was coming was only going to be for a little while, that her forever home humans would be coming to get her.  I don't know about her, but I most certainly am tired of waiting.  It wasn't too bad when she first got there.  She was kind of quiet and subdued. 

 

That is when my humans seemed to be sad alot also. But as time has passed, she has grown and filled out and is sort of fun to play with now.

Life is starting to get back to normal, whatever a forever home is, I am not sure if I want her to go to it now, as you can see below, we are a wonderful family and I wouldn't want to change that for anything. 

And so on

You want me to what?

So does my human realize how much I have to say?  Let me just tell you what a traumatic time I have had.  My human calls them adventures, I called it the trip from you know where.  So this thing called a holiday came up.  You know that one where there are trees in the store that I can climb and hanging things I had so much fun swatting on, sometimes there would be a loud crashing noise and poof what I was swatting at just disappeared.  So much for my fun.

Every notice when I have something to say, depending on what it is; how my meow changes?  Well I figured out that works for humans also!  There is a certain meow my human makes and I will tell you, I know I have done something, so I figure it is just best to find a place and just observe until I think she has forgotten whatever gave her that tone of voice.

Anyway back to that adventure with the trees on the inside.  My human told me I was going to see someone special.  Someone that was going to keep me healthy, whatever that means.  OK, at nite I see my human and that scruffy dog that sits with me everyday get into this funny contraption and than I don't see them again until that funny contraption comes back.  One day I got into that contraption, couldn't figure out what was so special about it.

 

 

 

 

And the horror begins....the nerve!

MY HUMAN actually somehow tricked me into going into this little box.  I just barely could fit, I couldn't climb, I couldn't scratch, I just plain couldn't do anything but lay there.  Then we went into this strange new place that had lots of that scruffy dogs smell, and I actually couldn't believe I saw another CAT!  He was rather conceited though, being of the Persian side of  our descendants.  As if that wasn't bad enough, there was ANOTHER one of the scruffy dog that sits with me every day.  But, I have learned to appreciate the one who shares my window space with me, she is quiet, that other one though, well I would have liked to sharpen my claws on him, that was until the BIG not so scruffy dog, started sniffing around.  What was my human thinking, your with me on all of this right? Pretty bad, right?  Huh, nothing compared to when I went to see "our special friend" as my human called him.  Her defination of friend is a little askew if you ask me.  And I showed him exactly what I thought of him as he stuck this sharp tiny little thing into me.  That will NEVER happen again, and I good care less if I ever see that "special" human again.  Life was so traumatic there for a couple of days!

 

It is nice to be back in my humble abode.  I have learned that the docter's office is not thrilled about my visiting so I have learned they are off limits........that's what my human thinks and we don't need her to be any the wiser......

 

MEEEEOOOOOWWWW, or in other words

 

Meow, Meow, Meow, hello wonderful world.  A human is final getting my words down again.  If I could just move those little buttons that make that tapping noise that just gets me going I wouldn't need them to write this for me, I could do it myself.  Instead of those humans trying to put those long sticks into my paws they should be teaching me how to make those tapping noises!

I have been drapping myself everywhere trying to get some attention.  I am loving this wonderful weather.  I get to outside more and it sure is fun watching my human run after me when I decide it is time for a doctor's visit.  Those humans are not as thrilled to see me as the ones that come into our home.  Well, the ones in the white coats aren't happy to see me I should say!

Oh, yea, I discovered these wonderful things; humans call them squirrels and guess what my buddy Sparkle likes to chase them to, ha,ha, ha she can't run up the tree after them like I do.  So that makes it even more fun.  I do get scolded for chasing them but it is so much fun!!  I dont' know what I will do if I ever do get to catch up with that furry thing.  It's even faster than me and goes much higher up that tree than I have ever been. 

So after my afternoon outside, I like to come in and get something to drink

look around to see if anyone has left me any treats anywhere, (I don't ususally get lucky there, thanks to Sparkle), I find a few more ways to have fun; this was alot of fun! 

 

 

They closed the lid and handed my box to the mail lady, I decided that would be a good time to jump out of it, I didn't think it was that funny!

 

When all the excitement of the day gets to be too much, I start looking around for just the right spot to:

Sweet Dreams Y'all!

 

ps:  if you see my friend Lane, tell him feel better soon!

 

Sometime in May

Where oh Where are all of the humans that are supposed to be taking care of this blog.  I am telling you, if I ever hear the words I am too busy again, I am just going to go climb that tree outside.  I have been performing wonderful feats and these humans aren't even noticing.  I think I am espiecally clever when I try to chase the birds up the tree.  I do not appreciate the laughter as I fly to the ground unsuccessful in my angry bird catching attempts.  And this thing called grass that I have discovered.  I love playing hide and seek with the humans, I am just so sly, then these big noisy machines came along and my wonderful hiding place was exposed.  If I crouch real low, I can still hide, I can see them, but I don't think they can see me. 

Those people that go into that place next door have finally chased me off, they are no where near as fun as the florist shop was.  I miss sneaking in their door and climbing their trees when they had all kinds of fun stuff hanging off of them that I could bat at.  And those tasty things that humans call flowers, they were good, but my human put some of those colorful things in my hiding area, now I can eat them and hide in them!!

My favortie spots to nap in! On Sundays, I spend most of my days baby sitting, geez, there just aren't enough treats in the world for this job!

When the humans are here they seem to spend alot of time looking at a metal box with pictures so if I want to be close to them, I use this cool contraption that turns and they can move me around in it. Loads of fun, no treats here though.

Always a Kitten - by Billy Joel

Finally, my themesong...

Always a Kitten to Me
- by Billy Joel (sort of)

She's queen of the store, and she rules all the dogs
She'll grab at your feet if you dare to wear clogs.
She'll trip up your steps, then yell like you're mean
She'll pounce on your head, but she's always a kitten to me

She can beg for attention, then take it or leave it
She'll make you throws balls, but will never retrieve it
And she'll take whats forbidden and do it with glee
Yeah, She steals like a thief, but she's always a kitten to me


CHORUS Ohhh... she takes care of herself
She can nap if she wants, which is most of the time
Ohhh... and she never gives up
And she never gives in, she just changes her mind

And she'll rub and she'll purr when it's time for her feeding
Then she'll carelessly claw you and laugh while you're bleeding
Then she'll steal all the dogfood, and drink your Pepsi
Just cover your glass 'cause she's always a kitten to me


CHORUS

She's frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool
And she can't be evicted, she always returns
And the most she will do is claw furrows in you,
But she's always a kitten to me

New Years Resolutions

It's a new year and time for new resolutions. That means it is time to make some resolutions that I may or may not stick to. I'll admit, my record on previous resolutions has been, at best, spotty. But, I am willing to give it another go. Last years resolution of pouncing on even more people from unexpected perches was a stunning success. The shelves way high up on the walls were a perfect launching spot as was the top of the white metal pattern stand...Have you ever noticed that primates never look up?  Anyway,  I evoked some awe-inspiring screams, several very colorful curse words, and even a bit of blood-letting... sorry, Melinda. Nothing personal. I've got it all recorded on my iPod nano for when I need a good chortle, or for a possible U-Tube submission.

The problem is that this year we moved to a new location, and my previous resolution of bringing home record numbers of dead birds and mice and dropping them onto my human's vegetarian pizza now has to be scrapped. This site doesn't have a pizza parlor that attracts mice to the dumpster. Nor, can I count on any decent birds sauntering by. The only birds I hear these days are those ghastly Grackles. Yeck. Those things have beady little eyes, big ugly tails, and all the lilting sounds of sharpened claws on a chalkboard.  They even look diseased. And have you seen the mess they make on the pavement below the trees? Ewww. Give me a tasty little titmouse anyday.

I thought about trying to compete for a Guiness record of puking up furrballs. But, I refuse to advocate that binge and purge behavior among young female kittens. I have to remember that I am a role model for thousands of aspiring feline models everywhere. Besides, I think some Irish pub guy already has the record.

I am already in shape, so I don't have to resolve to lose weight. And, I've already perfected my wide-eyed "who me? I'm just a little innocent kitty" face, learned from the master, Antonio Puss in Boots. Meeeeeeowwwwww!

I couldn't have possibly have knocked over your soda. Really, ask the baby.  I was framed.

I decided my resolution needs to be to add a bit of romance to my life this year.  Sure, I've had some brief interludes with that strapping hunk who hangs out behind the store...I'll call him "Tom". But, that was just a physical thing. I could never love someone who was utterly un-worldly.  He didn't even know you can drink Pepsi right out of glass with ice cubes. And his table manners....phew. Nuff said.

So, I am going to register at one of those dating sites, like eFurrmony, FeelinFriskies.com, Purrfect Match or InHeat.com. SwingingSingles.net sounds positively simian, but CougarWomen.net, with their special scratch and sniff section sounds intriguing. I haven't decided yet. But, I am willing to take suggestions. I still have to fill out my questionnaire and write a brief bio on myself.

Stay tuned.