The Federated Union of Rodent-hating Retailers of Yarn (FURRY)

I call this meeting to order

So, the dog with the Yorkshire brogue and I started a labor union for the advancement of the issues of four-legged workers in Yarn Stores. I am, of course, the President, so I comprise a two-thirds majority by myself.

Now, some might say that we, the fur-legged associates at Yarn Heaven have it pretty good. True, we each have multiple beds of handdyed, handknit wool/silk sweaters that our human accidently threw in the dryer and shrank to a perfect cat-size bed shape. Also true that we get special treats starting the day and ending it, and that we have entire trunks full of toys to play with. And yes, it is true that various customers (who shall be nameless, but who know they are guilty), sometimes sneak treats to us surrepticiously while making hot tea. We do get petted quite a bit more than we would like, and spend most of the day sleeping (when we aren't pouncing on people). (Alright, I admit, that is me, not the dog who does that). But still, we demand our other rights to be heard by managment.

Our list of demands are as follows:
1. A DVD player to watch select movies (ie. Puss in Boots)
2. More  treats (especially the salmon ones with Puss in Boots on the bag)
3. A free drug intervention program (for the occasionial Catnip OD).
4. Trapezes on the ceiling
5. Outtings up trees
6. A pay raise (Kitty needs a new pair of boots)
7. A press secretary to work with my personal biographer.
8.Solitary confinement cells for dogs who get above their stations
9. Pepsi fountain (with floating ice cubes)

 and lastly
8. More of those soft squishy Milk Bones (this demand is optional)

If our demands are not met, we will strike. Not with picket signs....but with claws, from out of nowhere, on unsuspecting victims. (In other words, business as usual)